An Insane Knight's Tale
by Chancellor Hobbit
Summary: It begins like the movie, but takes a terrifying twist! Rated PG for some words used, along with a bit of toilet humor.


An Insane Knight's Tale

© Chancellor Hobbit (Laura & JapDragon77)

September 28, 2002

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Disclaimer: We don't own _A Knight's Tale _or anything belonging to anyone else. We don't own Holiday World, either. It's a family-owned theme park in Santa Claus, Indiana. However, we do own the tiny flying pink elephants and the random sports equipment, video game consoles, gravy, cookies, household items, and other random animals used throughout this story.

A/N: General _A Knight's Tale_ insanity. Watch your reading eyes if you are way too sane to read such a masterpiece (heh?) as this. Also, there are some surprise appearances.

FF.Net Author Appearances: Myself...more to come...

Other Guest Appearances: Roger (don't even ask...)

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Chapter 1--We Will Rock _Who?!_

Narrator Dude Guy Thing: Here we are at the beginning tournament. Sir Ector is lying in a ditch somewhere and William decides to go in his place.

Laura: *film goes a few slides ahead and a scratch thing is heard* Hehehe..._WHERE DID THE NDGT COME FROM??!_ Sorry to slow you down, hehe...on with the story. *rewinding sound is heard and film goes to the right scene*

Prize Dude on the Horse: *comes walking to the ditch where William and company are hanging out* Where's Sir Ector?! I thought he lying on the ground right next to the fence thing...

William: Uh, his...urm...drinking buddy...um...hit him upside the...um...head....and uh....ran off...

Roland: Um......He's DEAD you dumb-butt!!

Wat: Heh? I tell ya', _HE'S NOT DEAD!!! _*starts kicking Sir Ector's head*

Sir Ector: ......_OW! _*popped blood vessel thing appears on his head as his helmet goes flying up* _WHAT THE SAM HILL ARE YOU--_

Everyone: O.o

William: *chides Sir Ector* Ah ah aaaaah...It's a library...

Laura: *appears like poof!* Ok, _WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!_

JapDragon77: *appears like poof!* Um, I dunno...probably been exposed to purple monkey radiation...

Purple Monkeys: *appear like poof! They are chasing a frantic Geoffrey Chaucer around the stadium where the tournament is being held.*

Laura: _STOP RIGHT THERE PURPLE MONKEYS AND GEOFFREY!!! I'LL SEND YOU TO HOLIDAY WORLD!!!_

Purple Monkey #5,499,000: Uh...what's Holiday World?

Everyone: O.o

Purple Monkey #5,499,000: ...uh, oooook.

Everyone: O.o

Purple Monkey #5,499,000: ...WHAT?!

Everyone: O.o

Geoffrey Chaucer: *sees tiny pink elephants holding big, round, tube-like things* Oooh, flying pink elephants! _AND THEY'RE HOLDING BAZOOKAS!!! _*suddenly looks confused* What's a bazooka?

Flying Pink Elephants: *look at Geoffrey*

Geoffrey: Um...I like your bazooka things. What are bazookas anyway? *starts aimlessly talking about bazookas*

JapDragon77: Uh, Laura...what was that thing you were saying about Holiday World?

Laura: Oh, yes. Tingle Tingle Kooloo Limpah!!! *snaps fingers. Geoffrey and the purple monkeys and the pink bazooka-holding flying elephants are suddenly at Holiday World*

William: That took care of them....I like cookies. *chomps on a cookie*

Roland: Gravy? WHERE?! *starts looking around for gravy*

Wat: GOLF WARS!! *starts whacking everyone on the head with golf clubs*

Sir Ector: Where did you get the golf clubs? Huh? Huh? I wanna golf club! *starts aimlessly talking about golf clubs, golf bags, and golf balls, not to mention the links*

Prize Dude on the Horse: Hmm....I'll give Laura and JapDragon77 the Newberry Award for most insanely written story.

Everyone: O.o

Prize Dude on the Horse: ...what?! I _AM_ the Prize Dude, right? I'm supposed to give out prizes!

William: Not THAT kind of prize...

Prize Dude on the Horse: Oh, right...carry on. *walks away to the stadium, but before he gets there, he disappears like *~poof~* and is in Holiday World* _YIPPEE! I LOVE HOLIDAY WORLD!!!_

Roland: That guy has issues...*rolls eyes*

Jocelyn: *appears like poof!* _YIPPEE! _I have a drumstick and no one cares! Wahoo! *runs around in circles*

Long-Blonde-Haired Boy in his middle 20's: _HEY GIMME BACK MY DRUMSTICK!!!_

Laura: _ YIPPEE! ROGER!!! _*runs over and gives Roger a hug. Roger kisses her hand*

Some Guy Named Roger: _GIMME BACK MY FRIGGIN' DRUM STICK, YOU WALKIN' FREAK SHOW!!!_ *realizes what he's supposed to be doing, pushes Laura away and runs after Jocelyn*

Laura: People these days! AARGH! *throws a hissy fit because Roger did not introduce himself properly* _YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, YOU...YOU... MEANIE!!! *_hears Roger from afar saying, 'kiss my butt', and sees him shaking his butt towards her suggestively* AARGH! Frig you, Rog!

Roger: *runs back to where Laura is standing* Sorry, never got your name...

Laura: Uh...Laura...

Roger: Nice name...whoops, sorry...gotta go.

JapDragon77: Wanna go to Holiday World, Rog?

Roger: Uh...gotta get my drumstick back...

Jocelyn: *tosses the drumstick to Wat who is continually whacking Sir Ector*

Wat: *whacks Sir Ector with the drumstick, which breaks to little bits after a while*

Roger: *sees his drumstick on the ground* My drumstick...*starts bawling and runs away*..._WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!_ My iddle widdle drumstick thing!!!

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Laura: Will Roger get his drumstick back? Will William go insane? Will Roland find the hidden gravy? Will Wat ever stop whacking Sir Ector? Does Geoffrey Chaucer have issues? Will the purple monkeys and pink, flying, bazooka-holding elephants ever stop bugging him? Will Roger ever go to Holiday World? Are Geoffrey, the purple monkeys, and the pink, flying, bazooka-holding elephants enjoying Holiday World? What's with the "Tingle, Tingle Kooloo Limpah" thing? Will the Prize Dude stop giving out prizes? Will William stop aimlessly talking about cookies? Will Sir Ector ever stop talking aimlessly talking about random golf things? Eat a cookie and find out.

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Chapter 2 coming soon!

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